Failed Expectations

I’ve always had roles I was expected to fill

honor student

perfect daughter

dependable friend

fun nanny

loving girlfriend, but

somehow all of that has given way

to endless days I fill with reading and driving

When I’m upset enough, I scribble down my thoughts

and try to pass that off as poetry, but

I have no follow through

I’ve built myself a nest out of

half-finished projects and half-forgotten faces,

trying to protect me from myself

When sleep is possible, I dream of swimming

long, graceful strokes through clear, blue water,

make me feel capable, but

no matter how hard I kick,

I never move forward

I suppose that’s because of the anchor in my chest,

which may be connected to my lead foot on the gas pedal

you see, I sure as hell don’t know where I’m going

but I need to hurry up and get there

before I forget the way

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